I Am Here

My story is one in the same, just like all of you.  Years of abuse by the hands of a man who was supposed to protect us. 

Years wasted…the only thing to show for those years is pain, disappointment, distress, doubt, feeling unstable, alienation, substance abuse, mind torture, being torn down into pieces of the women we used to be.  Left to clean up the mess of our tortured lives while caring for our children.  The strong face you put on every day for them because they’ve been hurt too.  You don’t want them to see the pain you’re in; crying alone in the bathroom.  This is who I was 15 months ago.

Today I have found heaven in myself.  It took me 15 months to feel good about myself again.  The road is hard; put the bad man away and forget he’s there.  He can no longer control you.  You are the maker of your destiny now.  The cravings for him are just that: a craving.  Cravings go away!  Set boundaries and stick to them.  I started a bucket list of things I wanted to do or see that I was now allowed to achieve.  The best feeling is putting a check mark next to something I finally did.  The biggest check mark, or I should say, the first check mark, was finally leaving my abuser!  I haven’t looked back.

It can be done.  Some of you don’t see it right now but you will and it is so liberating and powerful for us to say, “I’m not going to take it anymore! I am strong, I am worthy, and deserve better.  I am powerful, beautiful… I am here!!”

This story was submitted and is published anonymously as part of Caring Unlimited’s 8th Annual Survivor Stories Project; a program of Domestic Violence Awareness Month 2020.